


Walking On Petals

by sincerlyconnor



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Drug Use, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Jared can be a bit of a dick, M/M, Self-Acceptance, Self-Harm, Slow Burn, Suicidal Thoughts, Swearing, Tree Bros, Very Minor Galaxy Girls, he learns though
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-15
Updated: 2017-07-15
Packaged: 2018-12-02 09:47:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 550
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11506863
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sincerlyconnor/pseuds/sincerlyconnor
Summary: Connor Murphy is a boy who masks his pain in anger.But Someone sees through him.





	Walking On Petals

**Author's Note:**

> Enjoy the prologue!!

When Connor woke up in the morning for the first day of school, he has a lot he needs to do before he's presentable.

Obviously he has to do to do his hair and get dressed, but he has to do stuff first. He also has to do some stuff other people don't do at all. He takes foundation or concealer (whichever it is, he ripped off the label) and covers his wrists and hands to void those areas of the harsh burns he's left across his skin.

He has to bandage up his thighs from the fresh cuts he left there two days ago so his jeans don't reopen them. He winces as he wraps them with white bandages, sighing deeply to himself once he's finished.

He looks at himself in the long mirror in his room, and he feels something in his stomach turn. _He hated what he saw._

He walks up closer to examine the bags that stretched beneath his eyes and the way his hair stuck up in all directions. Both things just highlighted his restlessness and insomnia.

He collapsed on his bed and pulled out his weed, smoking until he couldn't find his fingertips, and he felt as if he was floating.

He drives to school high, and that's an incredibly dangerous thing to do, but he was the only one on that certain road, and he couldn't care less if he crashed. As he waited at a stop sign for someone to cross, he looked at the way his painted finger nails blended into his steering wheel as he grips so hard his knuckles turn white.

He makes it to school and thinks about how he _just doesn't care_ about doing this today.

He freezes when he walks past someone he did not wanna see today. Jared Kleinman.

The guy who used to be his only friend. The guy who stopped talking to him in eight grade because he is "a psychotic freak,". He was standing with a boy who looked like he could curl in on himself at any moment, a large bare cast on his left arm. Connor recognized him as Evan Hansen.

"Hey Connor! Lovin the knew hair length, very school shooter chic!" The guy teased, a smirk spread across his face. Connor glared back. "I'm kidding, It's a joke?" Jared said like it wasn't rude.

"Yeah no it's funny, I'm laughing can't you tell?" Connor stalks toward him, scowling. He didn't wanna show that Jared hurt him, so he resorted to anger. "Am I not laughing _hard_ enough for you?" He taunted, leaning towards Jared like an animal trying to prove he's bigger.

"You're such a freak," Jared laughed like he did the night they stopped being friends, and it felt like Connor's heart broke. Jared left in a hurry after he took the jab at Connor, leaving the two boys together in the corner of the school. Evan makes a small laughing noise and Connor feels like he's about to scream.

"Are you laughing? Stop fucking laughing at me!" He yells, and he curses himself for making it sound like a beg rather than a threaten.

"I-I wasn't um, I," Evan stutters out, and then Connor shoves him. And regrets it the second it happens, but he storms away.

 

**Author's Note:**

> leave a comment if you want me to update!


End file.
